Deer dough

(Originally posted January 24, 2007)

It sure has been cold here in Memphis lately and across the country. I’m glad we’ve been driving so many big cars, polluting Mother Earth with carbon dioxide and causing global warming. Otherwise, things would probably be even worse right now.

The other night I was lying awake in bed trying to go to sleep, but various thoughts kept coming to my mind. Unfortunately, these thoughts were rather interesting, and they kept me from getting to sleep for a while. If my thoughts had been a little more boring, maybe I would have been able to get to sleep better. Then I came to a realization: Maybe dull, boring people suffer from insomnia less often than awesome people (like myself). I’ll have to propose this hypothesis to my colleagues. Surely such a topic is worthy of the Rhodes Psychology Department.

Tonight the president touched on a number of issues in his State of the Union Address, including sending more troops to Iraq. It sounds like a decent idea to me. The more American troops right on Iran’s border, the merrier.

I’ve gotten accepted to several law schools so far, which is good. But thinking beyond that, I’ve been wondering what else may lie down the road in my life. One thing that comes to mind is deer. Think about how inefficient it is to track down deer in the forest and then shoot them. Wouldn’t it be cool if you could just farm deer? Then you could sell the deer to Kroger. One night, a man would say, “Honey, I’m tired of chicken and hamburgers. Let’s go to Kroger and buy some deer meat for supper.” You could maybe even make a fast food chain. You could call it McVenison’s.

This Chinese peasant farmer below seems to have the right idea.


It’s too bad that these foreigners have beaten me to the punch. Nonetheless, I can still maintain a domestic deer monopoly if I act quickly. I just have to keep the plan a secret. You guys had better not tell anyone. Who needs law school when you can be rolling in deer dough.

Now I have to get back to solving the pressing issues of our time. Until next week, everyone.



David the Magic Elephant posted,

You have a lot of really good points. I definitely agree with your theory of insomnia. Also, I really think that you should patent that idea for a fast food chain. That Chinese peasant farmer probably didn’t realize that he could make millions…”
(01-25-2007, 1:10 am)

Emily posted,
“Let’s make it a family business.”
(01-25-2007, 3:40 pm)


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