The renaissance of kings

(Originally posted September 19, 2006)

Greetings, readers. In today’s world news, we have a highly serious situation. A coup has toppled the government in Thailand. The Thai king has taken over the country.

Dang monarchist scum. I mean, didn’t we get past this sort of thing in the 1700s?  No king but King Jesus, I always say.

Seriously, imagine Prince Charles marching into the Parliament building with an M-60 and saying, “Sorry boys, I’m taking this country back. The show’s mine now. Hasta la vista, Blair!” That would really suck. Of course, it would suck even more if I actually lived in England. Or if I were Tony Blair.

But that’s all hypothetical. In the real world, you gotta watch out for those royals. Sure, Buckingham Palace brings in tourism revenue, but we all know what they’re really up to behind those walls. The Thailandian news is wild, but hopefully it will be resolved soon.

For our second front-page headline: The Pope has to apologize for criticizing a religion he disagrees with. I mean, who needs those old Western ideals, anyway? Free speech and freedom of conscience are clearly outdated concepts that are not applicable in today’s world.

Back here at Rhodes, the weekend went fairly well. For my birthday some friends and I went out to eat, and later on Rama and I hung out and went to the PKA party.

After I got back to my room around 4am or so, I slept briefly before waking up for the Allocations Board hearings. The Allocations Board is a fun group, let me tell you. We had an absolute blast allocating money from 9am to 7pm. After that got done, I went to the see Beethoven’s fourth symphony with RCF. We hit up the Cheesecake Corner afterward, which was good but somewhat pricey.

I hear Rhodekill lost to Ole’ Miss this weekend. It’s too bad I was busy with the supremely important job of allocating money and Rhodekill didn’t have my mad frisbee skillz to back them up. Oh well.

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