Bathroom madness

(Originally posted September 05, 2007)

Ok, so I was about to wash my hands in one of the public restrooms at UT when I saw that the soap dispenser had no handle. I looked around, confused. On the side of one of the stalls I could read some etched writing. It said, “Tears. Lost souls.” I wondered for a moment what that meant.

After about a minute, I finally figured out that you’re supposed to wave your hands around to make the dispenser give you soap. It was automatic. Fancy that. Unfortunately, it didn’t actually squirt very much soap into your hands. In fact, the dispenser gave me just a teeny tiny amount. So I thought, hmm, I guess I’ll just wave my hands again. Then it gave me a small amount more. But it still wasn’t enough. So I tried it a third time. Then another couple drops of soap fell into my hands.

I went crazy, waving my hands in all directions, but the soap dispenser was unyielding this time. After about half a minute of such nonsense, I heard a booming voice come seemingly out of no where:  “I see you. You’re not getting another squirt…Drew Justice.” At that point, I decided it was time to leave the restroom.

So anyway, UT Knoxville has been fairly fun so far. This past weekend they had a big fireworks display called Boomsday. I’m not real big on socialist holidays like Labor Day, but the fireworks were pretty good nonetheless.

What I witnessed in the bathroom was known as a Tragedy of the Commons. Such a situation means that everyone acting in their own best interests will result in a payoff that is low for everybody (as in socialism). I don’t really advocate making restroom users pay for soap, of course…The bathroom situation was just a bit absurd, the result of silly regulation. I guess some people could abuse the use of soap since it was free, so the powers that be decided people should hardly get any!

Aside from a lack of soap, UT seems to be a fairly fun place. I’m meeting a good deal of new people, and most of my law professors seem pretty cool.

Recently I saw a brilliant movie called Stardust. You MUST see it. Take everything that I said was good about Pan’s Labrynth, and apply it to Stardust threefold! Best movie I’ve seen in a while. The main character goes through a wonderful transformation from chump/wuss to real man.

I’m planning on heading back to Franktown this weekend. It’s always good to keep in touch with your roots.

Mike Nifong, the Duke lacrosse prosecutor is going to jail!  …For one day, that is. Yippie. Meanwhile, North Korea has agreed to suspend some of its nuclear production. Hmm…Isn’t that what North Korea always says? (I say “Yippie” on both counts, but with no exclamation point.)

In other pressing news, one Republican senator likes to play gay footsie in public bathrooms.

Until next time, readers — when we will again analyze the important issues of our time!



HANNAH posted,
“If you liked Stardust you should read the book. I haven’t seen the movie, but I can almost guarantee that the book is better.”
(09-05-2007, 7:53 pm)

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