(Originally posted February 06, 2009)
Yesterday in my Ownership and Justice class, we talked about the American Indians and how the white men took all their land. Actually, perhaps I should say that we took all the land, not “their” land. According to John Locke’s theory of property, the Indians (arguably) did not own the land at all — because they failed to cultivate it or even settle on it, for the most part.
Many people like to whine about how cruel the Americans were to the Indians, but I am mostly glad that we conquered them. Think about how crummy the Indian lifestyle was. This list essentially sums up all the Indians ever accomplished: 1) Hunting, 2) Taking drugs, 3) Wearing animal skins, 4) Worshipping trees and spirits, and 5) Making war against settlers and other tribes. Now, admittedly the hunting and animal skins were pretty cool. Nonetheless, a lack of serious agriculture, permanent settlement, and even private property would be a real drag.
I have heard Indian apologists make a big deal about Sequoyah and how he invented an alphabet for the Cherokees. All I can think is, Nice job catching up, Sequoyah; Now you’re only four thousand years behind the rest of civilization.
Liberals actually adore the Indians, of course, because the Indians embodied the liberal lifestyle. They were essentially communists. Holding land in common, the Indian citizens had no incentives to farm, produce anything of value, or even improve on business technology. Over time, this primitive lifestyle led to a severely deficient economy and the Indians’ eventual downfall.
But many people want to bring this lifestyle back.
One girl in my class suggested that perhaps the Indians made more efficient use of the land than the Europeans. If such were the case, I asked her, why were the Indians dirt poor? Moreover, how did we mop the floor with them on the battlefield if their lifestyle and economy were so superior? Recently, I saw the Battle of Horsehoe Bend portrayed on the History Channel, where Andrew Jackson completely devastated the band of one thousand Creek Indians that had almost killed my great-great-great-grandfather at Fort Mims. (Think how much worse off the world would be if he had perished.)
Liberals like to worship Gaia the earth goddess, and well…so did the Indians. The Indians were radical environmentalists. These original eco-marxists were the intellectual predecessors of Al Gore.
Many Indians also glorified various abnormalities such as transexuality. And, of course, the Indians down in Mexico also sacrificed humans. So overall, we have nothing to apologize for. The Indians did not own the land as property, their civilization was truly lame, and basically it was time for them to go.