Apparently today was Earth Day. I’m not entirely sure about the point of Earth Day, but from what I hear, Earth Day calls for some traditional celebrations and rituals. For example, Earth Day requires humans to hug a tree, and kiss an animal, and bow down before the sun and the moon and the stars. Allegedly, planting a tree on Earth Day can also actually bestow magical blessings on the planter.
Obviously, smart people (like me) know better than to follow these man-made traditions. But I can never attain satisfaction merely by freeing myself from superstition. Rather, justice requires that I communicate to others my ingenius insights. So let us go, and enlighten ourselves about the true nature of the universe.
Many people imagine that environmentalists adore the natural world, but this belief is false. Environmentalists do not love nature. In fact, environmentalists do not particularly love anything. Environmentalists actually despise the world because they see the world as flawed. Ultimately, environmentalists actually hate themselves.
Objectors will argue, “But Drew, that’s crazy; no one hates himself! These people just really like nature.” Such an objection demonstrates an obvious lack of understanding. Humans are part of the nature. Environmentalists heap praise on every part of creation other than humanity, and this discrimination shows their true disdain.
Environmentalists do not love trees or fish. Rather, they simply loathe themselves, and show it by praising the trees and fish. Consider this: The only reason anyone prostrates himself before a non-human object, like a tree or a rock or a frog, is to make himself feel smaller. A person cannot love an inanimate object, but bowing down makes him feel humble. Environmentalists, likewise, humble themselves before the wild earth in order to cast off their human dignity.
Environmentalists invent self-destructive rituals and rules in order to punish themselves for their human imperfection. Practicing these rituals (e.g., recycling) makes an environmentalist feel better. He feels like he is atoning for his sins.
Lately, I have heard students complain about the warm temperatures in classrooms. The reason classrooms are warm is because UT has decided to “go green.” Apparently, “going green” means making the classrooms uncomfortably hot in the summer time, and making the faculty offices uncomfortably chilly in the winter. Ultimately, the important part is the human discomfort. To the self-loather, discomfort cleanses the conscience.
In politics, socialists have recently begun their push for new taxes on every industry that burns anything. Obviously, taxed industries must raise their prices to stay afloat, and everyone will suffer. Nonetheless, societal fear about the weak economy poses absolutely no obstacle to the self-loathers. In the mind of the environmentalist, destructive timing makes the tax all the more satisfying!
Basically, the environmentalist justification for the tax goes like this:
1. Burning anything creates carbon dioxide.
2. Carbon dioxide angers the earth goddess, Gaia.
3. Therefore, we can atone for our wickedness by taxing combustion, which will simultaneously impoverish our society and thereby make us feel better.
This type of self-destruction is hardly new. Ancient pagans, for example, used to sacrifice their children to the god Molech. Even throughout Christian history, pagan infiltrators besieged the church from within, promoting doctrines of hatred for humanity. These heretics attacked marital sexuality, prohibited the consumption of various foods, discouraged self-defense (which preserves the human body), and banned the drinking of alcohol. Ultimately, an ascetic will invent whatever rules he can think of to make life miserable.
The ancient heretics showed their pure hatred for humanity by denying even that Jesus himself had a human body. (After all, humans are just too dirty and disgusting.) In a similar way, environmentalists attack and degrade their own species.
An ascetic practitioner is a man who hates his humanity, and the environmentalist falls into such practice. The environmentalist would rather be a disembodied nature spirit than a flesh-and-blood human. On practical matters, he allies with the wild beasts, bacteria, and trees over his own kind. Instead of accepting grace for his human imperfections, he invents new systems to punish himself. Environmentalists are sad people.