Hot tips to increase attractiveness

So I was watching the House floor debate last night as Democrats passed their socialist medicine bill. One thing I noticed right when I turned on C-SPAN was that it was quite easy to identify Democrats from Republicans. Some of the parliamentary procedure got a little confusing so aside from this distinguishing measure, it would have been a bit difficult to distinguish the congressmen. What I learned was that most of the Democrats looked like undead trolls, whereas most of the Republicans looked like noble men and women.

This observation is not to say that the Republicans were all overly handsome individuals. But even the less beautiful ones nonetheless stood tall and respectable, whereas the Democrats just seemed slouched over and slimy.

Nancy Pelosi’s uncontrollable, bizarre-sounding giggling at various pauses during her speech reminded me of a cross between a a hyena, a fairy tale witch, and a tyrannical, warped public school English teacher who cannot contain her glee while she flunks a student she dislikes. When I listened to Republican John Boehner’s brilliant “Hell no” floor speech, the Democrat jeers and laughter almost reminded me of a dark scene from some fantasy movie. It was sort of like in The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe when all the monsters surrounded the lion, licking their lips and insulting him while he was at their mercy. 

Rep. Boehner:  And look at how this bill was written. Can you say it was done openly?

Democrats:  Yes!

Boehner:  With transparency and accountability?

[Mix of Republican “No”s with Democrat “Yes”es]

Boehner:  Without backroom deals and struck behind closed doors, hidden from the People? [Uproar from both sides] Hell no you can’t! Have you read the bill?

Democrats:  Yes!

Boehner:  Have you read the reconciliation bill?

Democrats:  Yes!

Boehner:  Have you read the manager’s amendment?

Democrats:  Yes!

Boehner:  Hell no you haven’t!

[Chatter and laughter]

Acting Speaker:  Both sides would do well to remember the dignity of the house…

Mostly what I am saying is that leftists tend to act like children, whereas conservatives are more likely to act like real men and women. And that character frequently shines through to the visible spectrum, in mysterious ways.

Rosa DeLauro (D)

When I was younger, I used to think it was cliche that the bad guys in movies were portrayed as dark and forboding, often with warped facial features and such. Think of the characters in Lord of the Rings, or of Emperor Palpatine from Star Wars. Obviously this stereotype does not lend itself to every wicked person, as some evil men do use charisma to mask their wickedness. (After all, even the devil himself masquerades as an angel of light.) But quite often, the stereotype does indeed seem to ring true. Wickedness corrupts and destroys, and frequently that destruction involves the body itself. People who have visited long-term criminals in prison can attest to my point.

Overall, I do not intend this post to insult ugly people or to suggest that they are necessarily wicked. Rather, I seek only to offer analysis and ADVICE. The advice is this:  Righteousness exalts a man. However good-looking or bad-looking a person may be, he will look even better if he embraces righteousness — because he will be better. And as political righteousness, the ideology of conservatism nourishes and amplifies the soul.

7 Responses to “Hot tips to increase attractiveness”

  1. 1 Ilíon March 29, 2010 at 9:40 pm

    I hadn’t thought of it in quite this way … though, I have experienced something like it. For instance, from the instant I first became aware of both Carter and Clinton, I had a visceral dislike of them.

  2. 2 Drew March 30, 2010 at 12:03 pm

    It’s interesting that you say that, bececause I was originally thinking that Clinton and Obama and such were exceptions to the general rule. My idea was that the effects of wickedness became more apparent with age. (This progressive degeneration definitely applies to long-term drug use.) For example, that Rosa DeLauro chick may originally have looked somewhat hot when she was sixteen, despite her evil glare and her lesbian haircut. To the trained eye, though, I do agree that Obama looks pretty slimy, despite his supposed charisma. I may try to include some pictures illustrating his sliminess in an upcoming post.

  3. 3 Ilíon March 30, 2010 at 12:08 pm

    Well, yes, both Clinton and Carter look even meaner/pettier and personally nastier now than then.

    Or, tkae another example: Rosie O’Donnell … back when she first came to my attention, she was touted as “The Queen of Nice.” And I thought, “Are people this blind? That is *not* the face of a nice woman.”

  4. 4 Amazing Democrat April 4, 2010 at 7:57 am

    No bias in this post …very objective. Funny though, I’ve seen you act just like the democrats you complain about.

  5. 5 Drew April 4, 2010 at 12:07 pm

    Well regarding bias, this is the DREW BLOG, where I report and I decide. But I don’t even know what you mean about my supposedly acting like a Democrat! What an insult! On the other hand, nobody is perfect — so I guess it’s possible that I’ve acted like a Democrat on occasion. But I strive for self-improvement.

  6. 6 Ilíon April 5, 2010 at 9:38 pm

    So, you’re the Decider?

  1. 1 Physiognomy and the preservation of the flesh « The DREW BLOG Trackback on November 26, 2010 at 6:29 pm

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