While I have been discussing the topic of women in recent posts, another, related matter has recently come to my attention. I don’t see why women get short hair. Women, if you want to get all the finest, strongest, smartest, and most manly men to notice you, here is my advice: Do not make your hair short.
A pop song and its music video are what made this matter urgent enough to warrant a blog post. Specifically, there is this pretty good pop song out right now called “Bulletproof.” Unfortunately, I made the mistake of watching the music video on Youtube, and now the song is permanently ruined for me. I just cannot get the hideous entity from this video out of my mind whenever I hear the music begin to play on the radio. It really is a shame. Warning: Do NOT watch this video if you enjoy the song “Bulletproof,” or if you think you might ever want to.
Not overly long ago, my little sister suggested that she might cut her hair short, but I instantly warned her that if she did, she would look like a lesbian. Fortunately, she ultimately made the right decision, and as a result she still looks good.
Admittedly, there are a few instances where semi-short hair can still look decent. For example, consider the vampire Alice from Twilight:
Nonetheless, there are several reasons why this objection fails. First of all, her hair is not entirely short, but still retains some longness. Secondly, she is a vampire, and thus she is supposed to look a little weird. Thirdly, even if we found an exception here, it would not negate the rule that short hair for girls is generally bad.
Chloe from Smallville might seem like another counterexample at first, but as with Alice, her hair still retains some measure of longness.
Additionally, I get the idea from watching the show that Chloe is actually supposed to be somewhat unattractive, because Clark Kent is in love with a different girl. Finally, and perhaps most importantly of all, when examining the matter further we actually find that both girls in fact look at least slightly better with longer hair:
These last pictures tend to prove that these women are not exceptions to the rule, but rather are simply outliers. It would be like if Rambo walked around wearing a pink dress and people still thought he looked masculine, that would not prove the point that some men look better in pink dresses. Hence, both these counterexamples essentially fail in their entirety.
Thus, we can ultimately see that this short hair craze among today’s women is certifiably insane. With these various examples, I think I have proven conclusively that women should never have short hair — except perhaps in extenuating circumstances, such as if they are vampires.