Women’s hair

While I have been discussing the topic of women in recent posts, another, related matter has recently come to my attention. I don’t see why women get short hair. Women, if you want to get all the finest, strongest, smartest, and most manly men to notice you, here is my advice:  Do not make your hair short.

A pop song and its music video are what made this matter urgent enough to warrant a blog post. Specifically, there is this pretty good pop song out right now called “Bulletproof.” Unfortunately, I made the mistake of watching the music video on Youtube, and now the song is permanently ruined for me. I just cannot get the hideous entity from this video out of my mind whenever I hear the music begin to play on the radio. It really is a shame. Warning:  Do NOT watch this video if you enjoy the song “Bulletproof,” or if you think you might ever want to.

Not overly long ago, my little sister suggested that she might cut her hair short, but I instantly warned her that if she did, she would look like a lesbian. Fortunately, she ultimately made the right decision, and as a result she still looks good.

Admittedly, there are a few instances where semi-short hair can still look decent. For example, consider the vampire Alice from Twilight:

Nonetheless, there are several reasons why this objection fails. First of all, her hair is not entirely short, but still retains some longness. Secondly, she is a vampire, and thus she is supposed to look a little weird. Thirdly, even if we found an exception here, it would not negate the rule that short hair for girls is generally bad.

Chloe from Smallville might seem like another counterexample at first, but as with Alice, her hair still retains some measure of longness.

Additionally, I get the idea from watching the show that Chloe is actually supposed to be somewhat unattractive, because Clark Kent is in love with a different girl. Finally, and perhaps most importantly of all, when examining the matter further we actually find that both girls in fact look at least slightly better with longer hair:

These last pictures tend to prove that these women are not exceptions to the rule, but rather are simply outliers. It would be like if Rambo walked around wearing a pink dress and people still thought he looked masculine, that would not prove the point that some men look better in pink dresses. Hence, both these counterexamples essentially fail in their entirety.

Thus, we can ultimately see that this short hair craze among today’s women is certifiably insane. With these various examples, I think I have proven conclusively that women should never have short hair — except perhaps in extenuating circumstances, such as if they are vampires.


40 Responses to “Women’s hair”

  1. 1 Glenn E. Chatfield August 23, 2010 at 7:23 am

    Well, 1 Corinthians 11:15 says long hair is a woman’s glory. I think a woman should LOOK like a woman and not a guy. How long is “long” can be subjective, but if a woman looks like a man, her hair is obviously too short.

  2. 2 Drew August 23, 2010 at 9:54 pm

    I just think it’s crazy how self-destructive these women are today. It’s like they actually want to make themselves look ugly.

  3. 3 Foxfier September 1, 2010 at 12:41 am

    Some of us look horrible with long hair. It adds weight we can ill-afford to add.

    I have mine long, anyways, because it’s just cheaper and easier– pull it back in a bun with bangs to get the same effect as short hair.

    (Sadly, my hair is glorious, auburn with a fire-highlight and a lovely bit of curl– it’s just too fine to be flattering with the rest of me, with less than several hours of work I can’t manage for myself anyways.)

  4. 4 Drew September 1, 2010 at 1:08 am

    Well if you really want to prove your point then you’ll have to post pictures of yourself — because I don’t believe it.

    (And I don’t really understand the mention of weight, as weight is supposed to be a measure of fatness, not simply of mass!)

  5. 5 Foxfier September 1, 2010 at 1:22 am

    Let’s just say there’s a good reason I don’t post any pictures, beyond the fact of trolling. Seen the Hobbit extras from lord of the rings? That’s me.

    Hair down, in any style I’ve been able to manage myself, adds a good fifty pounds. I never realized it when I was younger, because my hair was always short. Now, I can see why my sister spends an hour or two getting ready for work.

    I know I’ve got a link to a page somewhere about how to get hair styles to flatter various face-shapes– not a lot of movie stars have the sort of face I do, even if we ignore that I’m fat. I’ll try to find it tomorrow if I remember.

  6. 7 Drew September 1, 2010 at 12:18 pm

    Your hairstyler website only proves my point. Out of all the suggestions pictured for various face shapes — Round, Square, Heart, Triangular, Oblong, Diamond — all of the short hair examples (“Right” and “Wrong”) are ugly except for the following:

    “Wrong” Short for Round Face
    “Right” Short for Square Face
    “Right” Short for Triangular Face

    And please note that in the first two exceptions, the hair is not entirely short but still retains some length, and that in all three there are longer styles that actually make the model look BETTER.

    I never saw the author even suggest that certain face shapes are better with short hair, although it’s possible that I just missed that part.

  7. 8 Foxfier September 1, 2010 at 12:28 pm

    That would be a lot more convincing if most of the “long” examples weren’t ugly or impossible with my hair. (the last link is something like what my sister usually has– she nearly went into tears trying to manage it on me when my hair was shorter)

    Anything that ends up with more hair gel than hair is straight-out in my book. ;^p

  8. 9 Ilíon September 4, 2010 at 10:40 pm

    There is plenty of time for a woman to have short hair when she is old(er) and it is difficult (or impossible) for her to keep her hair long.

    Personally, I think one reason some women whack their hair (when they can keep it long) is to spite the man they’ve “caught. She *knows* that he delights in her hair … and so she whackes it to deprive him of that pleasure.

  9. 10 Drew September 4, 2010 at 11:24 pm

    Gosh you’re depressing

  10. 11 Foxfier September 5, 2010 at 10:13 am

    The other side of that, is some guys like their lady’s hair… and never say anything. Women do tend to be more verbal, and it can take some repeating to overcome the “is he saying that to be nice?” angle.

  11. 12 Slim September 5, 2010 at 4:44 pm

    I cut my hair short a year ago, then spent six months growing it back out again so that I could please ignorant selfish jackasses like yourself. Then I realized, “Hot damn, I look like ****, and I feel like ****, and I hate having long hair.” So I buzzed it off again, and I felt (and still feel) awesome about my short “lesbian” haircut.

    In short: **** you, guy. Why don’t you try having a little respect for women, and maybe try to assume that girls don’t style their hair to suit your own personal preferences, you self-centered child.

  12. 13 Drew September 6, 2010 at 2:08 pm

    Your comment makes no sense, as you first call me “ignorant” but then later admit that I am correct and that long hair is indeed pleasing to men despite the fact that you “hate” it for some unmentioned reason. Probably the reason you hate it is that you simply hate men and have no desire to please them.

  13. 14 Foxfier September 6, 2010 at 2:20 pm

    Now, both of you are being a bit unfair.

    Slim, by blaming you for whatever men in her life wanted her hair long without care for if she liked it, and you by claiming she must not like men because of that over-reaction.

    It is rather ironic that she’s calling you selfish when she admits that she chose to cut it because she wanted how it made her feel more than she wanted to make the men she’s interested in happy. If selfish desires are bad, wouldn’t that make her just as bad?

    (On a side note, my dad likes short hair– he thinks that from about mid-late twenties on, women with long hair usually look like they’re trying to look younger than they are. I’d guess it’s a cultural thing.)

    I’m reminded of some screeds about weight I’ve read, generally by women who were heavy, lost weight and suddenly had male attention….

  14. 15 Drew September 6, 2010 at 2:24 pm

    Well she never explains why she hates it, so I can only infer.

  15. 16 Ilíon September 6, 2010 at 2:26 pm

    I’m pretty sure that ‘Slim’ — who is clearly a bitch — couldn’t *pay* me to **** her.

  16. 17 Slim September 7, 2010 at 3:34 pm

    I didn’t say that I hate long hair in general– some girls look great in long hair, but plenty of us just don’t. It isn’t up to you what girls do with their hair– it’s up to THEM. It sucks having a bunch of ignorant ***holes like you act like we are supposed to look how YOU want us to look instead of how WE want to look.

    Telling women that they unequivocally look awful with short hair– or that your opinion on what they look good in is more important than what makes them feel good about themselves– is the most ignorant, selfish thing I have ever heard.

    I look good with short hair. I have both a father and a boyfriend who like my short hair. I don’t want to have long hair, and you telling me that I should grow /my/ hair long to please /your/ personal preferences is not only pathetic, but borderline insulting.

    Her opinion on her hair trumps your opinion on her hair. Why don’t you try appreciating girls for something other than their appearance– such as, their PERSONALITY.

  17. 18 livingintheyear2010 September 7, 2010 at 4:08 pm

    “Women, if you want to get all the finest, strongest, smartest, and most manly men to notice you, here is my advice: Do not make your hair short.” LOL, are you serious? Okay, now that I’m finished laughing my ass off, I suppose I can continue.

    The 1950s called, they want their sexism back.

    This may surprise you, but here, in the year 2010, women can do whatever they want to their hair, their clothing, and their time. You can’t “scare” a woman into doing what you want by threatening that “she’ll look like a dyke”. Maybe it works when you guys call each other “fags” and “gay” but most women aren’t so insecure about their sexuality to care if you call them a ‘lesbo’ or a ‘dyke’.

    I know that in your opinion, you think women should have long hair but the way you wrote it makes it look like you’re afraid of short haired girls because they’re some sort of threat to your (supposed) masculinity. I wouldn’t be surprised if this was true, actually.

    Grow some testicles and stop treating your opinion like universal fact. Woman aren’t looking for your approval. Ever.

    inb4 a dozen comments defending your masculinity, bragging about how much sex you have, and how little I must be having, and how ugly/sad/dykey/fat/etc I must be, and/or having your white knights come to defend your honor (most likely with bad spelling). There we go, I saved you the trouble of typing it out, since I know that’s probably the best you can come up with as a counter.

    I will leave you to your circle jerk.

  18. 19 Foxfier September 7, 2010 at 5:11 pm

    Guys are visual. You may as well complain about women who won’t date guys whose voices they don’t like, when women are verbal.

    Drew phrased it as advice, his taste, etc. I disagree in specific, but it’s worth pointing out that most feminine lady stars have long hair. The “tomboy” or “pixie” ones sometimes pull it off, as do women of a certain age.

    Her opinion may trump his on how she wears her hair, but his opinion of how she looks trumps hers.

  19. 20 Slim September 7, 2010 at 8:02 pm

    “Her opinion may trump his on how she wears her hair, but his opinion of how she looks trumps hers.”

    That is probably the single biggest load of bull**** I have ever heard in my entire life.
    I find it hilariously pathetic that women allow men to define how THEY are allowed to look, and that they HAVE to dress certain ways, be a certain weight, or have a certain hairstyle in order to feel pretty.

  20. 21 Ilíon September 7, 2010 at 8:55 pm

    And the Year Nothing called and wants its stupidity back.

  21. 22 Drew September 7, 2010 at 8:56 pm

    Guys, in case you hadn’t noticed, I have been editing the language here (except for Ilíon’s, because he self-edited). Also, I have already had to delete two comments because they were basically just making explicit references to sex. I try to keep this site reasonably family-friendly.

    @Living In the Year 2010, you stated that
    //”Woman aren’t looking for your approval. Ever.”//

    That’s just not a very accurate statement. Women look for EVERYONE’s approval, and you can see from Slim’s comments how they tend to react when they don’t get it.

    @Slim, if you think you look good in short hair, do you have any pictures to prove it?

  22. 23 Ilíon September 7, 2010 at 9:11 pm

    The reaction you’re getting from these two illustrates why the 19th Amendment was a serious mistake (*) — women, in general, are not rational. It’s not that they can’t be rational, of course; it’s that most of them choose, most of the time, to be irrational.

    Of the three women who have commented on your post, two have chosen to engage in histrionics … because a mere man dared to express a simple truth about what men find attractive about women. I suspect that a ratio pretty close to that holds across the board for women and their choice(s) to engage in rational examination of any issue.

    (*) Not that that genie can be put back into the bottle, but it’s important for us to understand the mistake our ancestors made.

  23. 24 Ilíon September 7, 2010 at 9:18 pm

    Guys, in case you hadn’t noticed, I have been editing the language here (except for Ilíon’s, because he self-edited).

    I would need a very pressing reason to use such language. The only reason I even implied the particular word is that the snide response I wanted to make to the Little Miss’s crass vulgarity required echoing what she had said.

    But hey! At least you have women mad at you; I currently have a homophile trolling on my blog.

  24. 25 Foxfier September 7, 2010 at 9:29 pm

    That is probably the single biggest load of bull**** I have ever heard in my entire life.

    Goodness, you’re sheltered. That’s the second ultimate in just a few responses!

    So, you hold guys can’t tell you how they like your hair, but you get to tell them if they’re allowed to like a style of hair. Selfish is the word, yes, but it’s not them that’s been selfish.

    *thumps Ilion* Guys are fully able to be idiotic on their own– just tends to different areas.

  25. 26 Ilíon September 7, 2010 at 9:35 pm

    … or, to be more precise, I suspect that my new “troll” actually despises homosexuals (for most “liberals” really do); but following standard “liberal” “thought” processes, he’s seems to think it’s witty to pointlessly accusing me both of being “gay” and being a vicious “homophobe.”

    That — a baseless, pointless, and apropos of nothing accusation of being “gay” — is something any man can expect of the typical woman when she takes it into her mind that she’s not going to even attempt to understand what he’s saying. Already, in just one comment, LitY2010 has stepped right up to the line. If she’d written another couple of sentences, I’m pretty sure she’d have gone for it.

  26. 27 Ilíon September 7, 2010 at 9:36 pm

    *thumps Ilion* Guys are fully able to be idiotic on their own– just tends to different areas.

    I don’t deny that.

  27. 28 sonic-eclipse September 18, 2010 at 4:16 am

    I can’t believe there is a full on conversation about the length of women’s hair and how much it pleases or offends men, hahaha. Oh dear. Are things that bad in our society that important things don’t matter any more? You mentioned in another post about people carrying guns… Surely that is more of a concern and a topic to be debated rather than your sexists rants.
    It pains me to think that despite all the hard work both men and women have put in to bring equality between the sexes, some people will always measure a woman by her attractiveness. Have you ever stopped to considered that the majority of women have deeper ambitions than pleasing men?
    I usually end up on these blogs by accident and I am always shocked at how some people claiming to be ‘moral’ choose to write about such superficial, yet destructive matters. You know, back when women were oppressed, things where not that great either… for both sexes. Society had always had its issues but I do not think (and I shudder to think others do) that it was caused by short-haired, sexually active women. Why do these two go together anyway? How is having a hair style directly related to a person’s character? What about men with long hair? Do they try to be women in your eyes? Since, looking back to biblical times (something I’ve noticed these blogs have in common) they also had long hair. But this is a mute point since we do not live in biblical times and a lot have changed since then. Would you a prefer a society similar to that of say, Saudi Arabia where women are viewed as possessions, and you can then stone us for not being obedient.

    Do you really blame women for all the wrongs in the world?

    I find your writings shallow, enraged, regressive and poisonous. It is these kinds of views that make me want to change society for the better, although I am not fully sure how one could change a mind so consumed by hatred.
    I truly hope you find inner peace, and use your words to fight the real issues in this world – like poverty, in equality, slavery (which still happens) and the control or abolishment of weapons. It is the rise in youth gun crime that threatens my own society, not the freedom of women.
    Regards, Beckie, UK.

  28. 29 sonic-eclipse September 18, 2010 at 4:34 am

    “because a mere man dared to express a simple truth about what men find attractive about women.”

    @Ilion – this is very subjective, not truth. Truth and opinion are two different things, please do not confuse them. I know plenty of men that find women with short hair attractive.
    I, myself, during my youth chose to completely shave my hair off; It was an act that I did in the hope of receiving less attention from men. It was the most ‘feminine’ I have ever felt and I actually started attracting the kind of men I wanted to – respectful, intelligent and polite. I found, for once men looked at me as a person, not an object of beauty.
    I enclose ‘feminine’ because the ideas of masculinity and femininity are social constructs – they are not genetic traits. What is meant to be manly or womanly are defined my our society, not our actual gender. In reality, some men are feminine and some women are masculine. It does not have anything to do with a person’s sexuality either. It is a result of the levels of testosterone or progesterone in the body.
    Your lack of understanding women is not a truth. Women being irrational is your opinion, not a fact. Fact is women and men are different, and understanding those differences (rather than damming them) will bring us closer together… Now wouldn’t that be nicer. =)

  29. 30 Drew September 18, 2010 at 3:14 pm

    You have already pretty much admitted the correctness of my position, because you admitted that men stopped admiring you for your beauty when you cut your hair off.

    And this IS an important issue. I am tired of looking at women who are ugly just because they want to mimic men when only a tiny amount of effort (i.e., not cutting their hair off) would keep them pretty.

    And it’s not real clear what hair styles people had in Bible times, but 1 Corinthians 11:14-15 seems to suggest that most men had short hair and most women had long.

  30. 31 Ilíon September 19, 2010 at 3:28 am

    How cool is this? Someone who clearly doesn’t even understand the word ‘opinion’ (and who, to make it worse, is into postmodernism) thinks to school me.

  31. 32 Mina November 27, 2010 at 2:21 pm

    Drew, I’m glad you have identified your preferences in women’s hair styles. However, you must remember that there are tons of men out there that:

    a) do not share your views that women should act a certain way to please men (oh wait, it’s not just you saying this, it’s GOD’S will– that makes it better!)
    b) like short hair

    I think I look good in both long and short hair. I will not post pictures for your viewing pleasure, whether I look good or not is an OPINION, and you need to realize this. You state that women look ugly in short hair as if it’s a fact. It’s not. It depends on the girl (different styles look good on different people), and it depends on personal preference. Even if most people think a certain girl in short hair looks fantastic, there’s still going to be the one person out there (i.e., you) that feels otherwise.

    I personally prefer short hair– it’s easier to take care of, and I look slightly better in it. For me to look good in long hair, I have to spend at least an hour straightening it and taking care of the frizz. Sometimes it looks okay without anything done to it, but that’s a rare day. Most of the time when I had long hair, I’d just rock the crazy wicked witch look. Quite frankly, I’m not going through any extra effort to please men– any man that required I do so is not one for me (and look at me, I still found a guy!) I’m more confident in short hair, and confidence = sexy. I have had plenty of guys express their attraction to me during times I’ve had short hair, just as much as when I’ve had long hair. “Will boys like this haircut?” isn’t what I’m thinking when I’m at the salon. We live on a planet of millions of people, there’ll be someone out there that finds me hot even if I shave myself bald.

    Just learn to differentiate your opinion from fact, please.

  32. 33 Drew November 27, 2010 at 3:46 pm

    You can’t argue that you look good in short hair AND simultaneously argue that beauty is purely subjective. You’ve got to pick one or the other. I could argue that there are “some” women out there who like effeminite fat men with no muscles, and that therefore fatness and weakness and femininity are attractive in men. But even if it were true that some women liked those men, my statement would still be sort of a ridiculous claim.

  33. 34 Dan October 28, 2011 at 11:59 pm

    I never really associated beauty with long hair. I tend to go for women who keep there hair short because, on the right lady, it can really be stunning. There’s nothing more attractive to me then a small lady with a short haircut to show off her pretty face. To me it represents confidence, that they don’t need so much hair to hide behind. When I see a girl walking around with very long hair, I assume she’s high maintenance. Which is just as bad as thinking a woman is ugly because she has short hair. Not condemning anyone or trying to prove anyone wrong, just saying live and let live.

  34. 35 E December 10, 2011 at 5:55 pm

    This mentality is a huge part of the problem. Women do not need to validate themselves via a man’s opinion. I have seen women who were gorgeous with short hair. If all a man cares about is the length of. Female’s hair then she needs to run for the hills. Ultimately, we are the one ones who decided which makes reproduce and which ones don’t. What you state is subjective and does not reflect the Opinion of all men. Some men like their women intelliigent, strong minded and not shallow hiding behind long Barbie doll male oriented expectations. You are the reason so many younger females have self image issues!!!!

  35. 36 Ilíon December 10, 2011 at 11:38 pm

    What is “this mentality” of which ‘E’ speaks? It is men having opinions about what they find attractive and not-attractive about women.

    What is “this problem” of which “this mentality” is a huge part, according to ‘E’? It is that mere men dare to express their opinions about what they find attractive and not-attractive about women.

    So, women are “strong” and “independent” and don’t need a damn thing from any man (except state-coerced money from all men), yet the fact that most men find a woman’s long hair to be very attractive and desirable is “the reason so many younger females have self image issues!!!!”?

    I say: who gives a rip about their “self image issues!!!!” Let them strongly and independently solve their own self-imposed problems, which all step from refusing to be women in relationship to men.

    You know, if men held women to the same standard of reasonableness and rationality as they hold one another, the human race would have died out aeons ago. THE thought occurs: perhaps one reason that modern cultures are dying out is that modern men have been taught to hold women to the same standard of reasonableness and rationality as they hold one another — and seeing that it isn’t true, they’re just not interested in having offspring with them.

  36. 37 Ilíon December 10, 2011 at 11:44 pm

    My mother was a cripple her whole life; in her youth she needed braces or crutches to getaround,3and a wheelchair in her middle and old age. She didn’t have a dainty build — she was one of those persons who *does* have “large bones” — and her upper body strength was greater than that of most men.

    What she *didn’t* have is “self image issues!!!!” But then, she wasn’t:
    1) trying to be a man;
    2) trying to be a “sex goddess”, always in sexual competition with all other women;
    Most modern young women are trying to do both of those simultaneously.

  37. 38 Rodney December 14, 2011 at 12:15 pm

    What nonsensical commentary from the females in this thread.

    There is nothing wrong with telling a female what course of action she ought to take IF she wants the vast majority of men to find her physically attractive (e.g. keep your hair long), just as there is nothing wrong with telling a male what course of action he ought to take IF he wants the vast majority of women to find him physically attractive (e.g. work out and don’t be a slob).

  38. 39 Foxfier December 14, 2011 at 6:10 pm

    What nonsensical commentary from the females in this thread.

    Gee. Thanks for showing that random probably female trolls aren’t the only ones who can’t read very carefully.

  39. 40 Ilíon December 15, 2011 at 11:56 am

    Oh, FF, I’m sure Rodney wasn’t talking about *your* comments.

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